All I HaVe To Do,Is Just ThiNk Of You...

14 June 2009

♥ 10:19 PM

Another week passed...We are only left with the last 3 weeks of holiday..Hmm..really must make use of it..

Met dear at Cck tis morning, but when i reach i didnt see him, called him several times but he nv picked up, i was so panic..Cause normally he'll b the one who will always pick up my phonecall no matter how busy he is, or even if he is having lesson or having meeting.. So knowing that i cant get thru to him, i was so anxious..I walked here n there but to no valid, i could find him.. Finally when he picked up his phone, he said was on his way, n he on silent n didnt manage to feel the vibration.. At that moment, i felt so relieve but yet tense up..I tried not to give an unpleasant voice, but i was sooo worried, n when i speak, my tone was so lousy.. My mood than started to change.. *Seriously, i get very very panic whenever i couldnt find my love ones..My mind will start thinking of senerios that might happened to them out there..So hope I wont tired my heart out again just to locate my love ones.*

When we are on the way to CDANS at Bukit Gombak, the ''Devil'' in my consious mind keep forbidding mi to talk n makes my face as black as charcoal.. Haix..No matter how hard my ''Angel'' in the consious mind fight against the ''Devil'', it never wins at that moment of time.. Headed to Bowling Place, started our games..Thruout the games, there was lots of fun times, laughing at each other when the ball went into the Drain..lolx..I enjoyed the game sooo much ! Played 6 rounds.. 1 round is $3.50..Total shld be $21.. When i was playing each rounds, i counted the amt that we'll b paying at the end of the game, so tat i wont exceed the amount..But nv did i thot that, when we went to pay, the total amt was $36+..I was like:" What The Hell !!!" So ex ! Each person have to pay $18..I felt so upset ! Had a feeling of being cheated man ! But cant blame anyone la, didnt asked properly..haix..So in the end, only can blame myself for being so greedy to play so many rounds..N after the incident, my mood change into a "Devil" mood again..haix..And who's the one who suffer ? Dear lo... Poor thing man !

While waiting for bus, i keep on blaming myself for being stupid n greedy to spent soo much money on this few games..Actually is consider cheap in the sense, but just that being in the critical finiancial right now, I shldnt be spending money like running water-tap.. haix..Oh ya, after bowling, bused back to lot1..There was no seat, so we stand near the Alighting door, i know it was wrong la, cause will block other alighting passenger..But there's one uncle, damn Idiot ! Other passenger who were alighting said :'excuse mi' for their way out..BUt this paticular idiotic freako uncle, tapped on dear's back and said so loudly infront of dear's face:" Don't Stand Here La ! Block the way, Go find Seats to Sit La !.."n he alighted.. And at that moment, i was already fumming mad for whatever bad things that happened today, additional to tis stupid matter, n lastly, i wont let anyone insult,critisize or do whatever things that's gonna hurtx or involved my families n Dear.. Never Ever ! N ya, My mouth just Spit out :"Shut Up & Get Lost la.." N some valguar continuously.. I knew dear must be upset about it, but he shallowed already down, in return, he still have to comfort his own fumming mad gf ! lolx..

Walked to the foodcourt there to had lunch.. Was so hungry, but keep on telling myself that, u no longer can spend money right now..Not even on food..N my stomach was groaning like what like tat..So i keep on eating my sweets n drinking my water to fill my stomach temporary.. Due to the unhappinest since morning till afternoon, felt so tight-up ard my chest..Had alot alot alot of mixed feelings inside mi which i cant manage to resolved.. N i finally broke down to tears..Felt so paiseh for dear..But i'm sry, i cant hold back the tears..Thanks for the warmth hand that comforted mi all along.. =).. After crying, my feelings got much much better ! Hehex.. Than went to walk walk around LOt1 n headed back to my home.. Actually thot of continue to shop ard, but i no longer cld take it..I suddenly felt so weak.. I only ate my breakfast ytd till today afternoon..Of course i'll b hungry la ! Reach home, quickly went to cook something to eat..N my stomach was soo relieve..I can finally feel the fullness in it..N my energy is stored back..N Home is forever the Best ! feel so relax at home..hahax.. Dear accompanied mi till 10pm+ than go home..

Though is boring for him to spend most of the time/day doing nth much, but just wanna let him know that, spenting time with him is really a pleasure.. I'm deeply sry that i cant be like his friends whom can acc him till late nights, go have drinks, go eat steamboat/buffet, go have fun.. Right now i'm just like a penniless gal, being restricted strictly to go out or spend money unnecessary.. I'm grately for him to be soo patience with mi even when I vent anger unwantedly, or when i'm so unreasonable.. I hurtx him alot by my attitudes/character i tink.. I'm still in the process of trying my best to adjust my life to a better one which benefits everyone.. I really really enjoyed the time spent with u, especially when there's no need to spend any money n there's no need to squeeze with other ppl in the mall,especially weekends.. Staying at home might be boring, but it is a warmth,fruitful n moneyless time spent.. hahax.. Tks for the understanding, dearest.. He's the Guy, Definitely ! *Cherish*

With Love,
shian